Permanent Tabs

Stuff I love, stuff I’m obsessed with, stuff you might like too.

Photo by Regina Valetova on Unsplash

I love curated lists, so I made one. I don’t care if this kind of thing is “out.” I’ve been recommending books, TED Talks, scents, movies, and podcasts for years, and this is my current rotation.

These are the things I’m currently prescribing to myself (and now, to you):

The Hills I’ll Die On

This is my list of the “unnecessary” things I refuse to budge on. It’s a collection of stubborn convictions and high standards for things most people ignore. If you aren’t a little bit obsessed with the details of your own life, who will be? This is what self-respect looks like in practice.

• Analog is Elite: get yourself a journal. They can be practical and pretty. I have a traveler’s journal, a mini-traveler, a journal for morning pages, and one for just goals. I love them because they are customizable. No one else needs to understand the categories, but you. It’s private, self-expressive, and pressure-free. Just try it. The indexing method for my commonplace book changed my life. Here is how I organize mine!

• Abandoning Books: If a book hasn’t caught you by page 50, you are allowed to throw it across the room and move on. You are not morally obligated to finish what isn’t feeding you.

• Working from home in a good pair of jeans: First of all. Madewell, Zara, Abercrombie, Levi’s, and Good American. I feel hot and confident in a good pair of jeans. I won’t apologize for my madness.

• Specificity: A passionate defense of a very specific kind of fill-in-the-blank. It’s okay to just care and not explain. Just don’t be rude about it. Reese Witherspoon says, “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” Don’t expect someone else to care for you. A shortlist of mine:

  • Having curled eyelashes and mascara on

  • Keeping blank cards in my car (just in case)

  • Keeping my favorite pillow placed in the right spot on the couch

  • Choosing the right wine glass for my mood

  • Leaving the house completely put together, no excuses.

• You don’t need a signature scent: This is a great concept, but I like to choose my perfume based on the season and my mood. Let’s push against aesthetic rigidity. Currently: Ombre Leather by Tom Ford (Winter), Glossier You (Whenever), and Gardenia Palm by Good Chemistry (Summer—currently discontinued, pray for me?).

The Open Tab

A glimpse into my current intellectual restlessness. These are the ideas that are taking up too much real estate in my brain.

Mouse-fart motors in NASA. I learned about these from the Armchair Expert Episode with Mark Rober, and I think about it probably once a week. It’s such a small, absurdly precise solution to a massive problem, and I keep thinking about how often progress depends on people obsessing over details no one else can see. (1 hour listen / Bring coffee).

Trying not to kill my house plants is an ongoing lesson in patience and attention (obvious).

The King with Timothee Chalamet’s speech before the battle, but you should just watch the whole movie. The language here is used to steady fear, not erase it. I think about how words can actually fortify people when everything else feels uncertain. (Watch the whole movie / 2 hours).

My friend’s 90-year-old grandmother, who is my idol. I’ve never met her, but she’s lodged herself in my mind. She tells the truth plainly, always has her makeup done, and helps her grandchildren practically and financially. She’s faithful and steady. I think about what it would mean to live that long without apologizing for what you value.

This article from the London Book Review, entitled “Why Children’s Books?” by Katherine Rundell, is a gorgeous, defiant argument that children’s fiction isn’t a “junior” version of literature, but a strategy to rediscover things like wonder and courage that we’ve let get buried under adulthood. I keep thinking about what we lose when we abandon those muscles. (20 minutes with a coffee).

NYTimes article “Thinking is Becoming a Luxury Good.” It’s a terrifying look at how deep focus is becoming a status symbol, available only to those with time, money, and protection from distraction. I can’t stop thinking about what this means for students, creativity, and anyone trying to live purposefully. (5 minutes, read it over lunch).

That Gap Commercial that made me cry (5 minutes, watch it anytime).

The Fine Print

This is a small sensory inventory: the scents, the textures, and the single sentences that make a boring Tuesday feel memorable and luxurious.

• The Lotion: The Ginger hand lotion from Origins. Smells like a spa; people smell it & comment, my hands are soft.

• Pears & peaches

• Mixed Metal jewelry: People who say you have to choose silver or gold are living in a prison of their own making.

• The “Specific” Pen: The Pilot Precise V5 Rollerball. If I don’t have this, I don’t want to write.

• Quotes I have been drawn to:

  • “With all you’ve got”

  • “Carry a stone in your pocket if you feel unsteady.”

  • “With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come,” - William Shakespeare

  • “Every storm has two purposes: destroy what isn’t solid, and reveal what is. ” - Unknown

• The Lighting: When I lived in my apartment, I had this glass disco ball that I put in the sun, and it put little white light specs over the whole living and dining room. Stunning. This one is a literal need.

Out of office:

These are the heavy hitters. The things that require you to put your phone in another room and commit. These are the “long-form” joys worth the time investment.

• Movies I am Obsessed With:

  • About Time

  • Past Lives

  • Good Will Hunting

• Shows worth the time investment:

  • The Beast in Me

  • Fallout

  • Parenthood

  • Schitt’s Creek

• Books that are must-reads:

  • Milk Blood Heat by Dantiel W. Moniz

  • Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

  • The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan

• TED Talks (Watch when you have 10–20 minutes to spare).

  • “Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable” by Luvvie Ajayi Jones

    • “Well-being is community business.”

  • “Give yourself permission to be creative,” by Ethan Hawke

    • It’s the antidote to the “I’m not an artist” lie.

  • “The Danger of a Single Story” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

    • Every human, especially every student, needs this.

• Substack reads:

  • After Dinner Conversation, Philosophical short stories that give you something to chew on. Just yes.

  • The Autodidact. For when I want to learn something niche just for the sake of knowing it. It’s the digital version of my Commonplace book.

• Podcasts:

  • The Toast (For when you need the world to feel a little lighter)

    • Pop culture fast-talk; it’s the intellectual equivalent of a Diet Dr. Pepper (refreshing and bubbly).

  • The Armchair Expert (For the deep dives)

    • It’s where I go when I want to hear smart people be vulnerable about their lives and work.

  • Diabolical Lies (For when you need depth and culture)

    • It’s become my favorite way to spend a commute being judgmentally fascinated by strangers.

Current Miscellaneous Obsessions in no particular order

• The library, stickers for my journal, Diet Dr. Pepper, Armchair Anonymous interviews, Cleo Wade’s poems, de-influencing, talking on the phone, dairy boy pajamas, lime water, and green tea.

• Olga Tokarczuk’s Drive Your Plow over the Bones of the Dead, Beth Allison Barr’s The Making of Biblical Womanhood, and Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird.

• Commute songs: Anything by The Marias, SZA, Lana Del Ray, sombr, and Olivia Dean.

• The wisdom in Irish sayings & pieces of advice:

  • “May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been, the foresight to know where you are going, and the insight to know when you have gone too far.”

That’s it. My current rotation. If you actually try any of these, let me know. Or don’t. I’ll keep suggesting them regardless.

I don’t think taste is about being interesting. I think it’s about being attentive. Over time, you start to notice which things clarify you and which ones just fill space. These lists are how I keep my life from becoming vague or meaningless. And that is the real prescription: pay attention long enough to know what deserves a permanent tab.

As always, take good notes and subscribe if you’re cool.

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